Defining Moments

We all have them, they're those odds times in our lives we say we're going to do something, make a change and then we actually follow through and make it happen.. and then BAM this sets our lives on a completely different path. If I'd never had one of these moments, I would still be 100 kgs or more, I probably wouldnt be finishing school, but then this raises the question.. what else aren't I doing? What else are we denying ourselves simply because we haven't thought of it as an option before, or because we are too scared of failure to try...

I'm hoping blogging will be my next defining moment, even if noone actually reads or follows them, the idea alone that someone could read these and take to heart whats said here, that someone could be considering weightloss and looking for inspiration or ideas, gives me the incentive to finally finish what I started and lose the last 10 kgs I need too.

The Woes Of Binge Eating

Up until now I had my weightloss plan down to a pretty simple routine, workout hard, try to eat less, if I ate a hell of a lot more, workout more, but unfortunately the closer you are to your goal weight, the harder it is to actually lose any, I think this is because my goal weight is on the lower end of the healthy weight range for my height (5'' 6' or 168cm). Technically I am within a healthy weight range at 70 kgs, but health wasnt the only reason for my vendetta against my own bad habits, vanity makes up about 90% of it and 60 kgs is where I would like to be. My old routine isn't really working anymore, it's maintaining my weight but that isn't exactly my goal yet so! what to do next?

I lost 30 kgs when I had my defining moment with exercise which has become this constant in my life, and really the only thing keeping the weight off, but eventually it was going to get to the point where I had to change my diet as well, and in a permanent way that doesn't just get forgotten the second I reach my goal.

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What has prompted so bold an act as to actually overhaul my diet and in a manner whereby I am not going to cheat, and in the event that I do I won't just excuse it as always, I'll write about it, I'll make it a concious event I have to admit too and seriously contemplate.

The Cookie Disaster: This was the moment I realized I needed to change something more, maybe you've had one of these moments too? Exercise I have down pat, but diet? Well I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am a binge eater. I eat when I am not hungry, when I am bored or tired, stressed and even when I am sick. I always approach my diet with the best intentions, but by mid-afternoon this usually blows up in my face.. but last night this verged on the utterly ridiculous, I had already had dinner, and had done reasonably well on my diet during the day, a good thing no? Then I made a mistake, one cookie, that was all it was meant to be, it ended up being 6, I felt physically ill because I wasnt even hungry and I hadnt eaten that much junk food in a few weeks. I barely managed to workout for more than 40 minutes. Eating to the point that you make yourself sick? For lack of better wording.. What the hell is my problem.

But if I've learnt anything from my ventures into weight loss its that we have the potential to change, all the time, in any way, the second we decide too, you just have to take that first step. I also know that the only way to lose weight is to persevere, if you want it- do it, and do it for yourself.

I'm going off of the theory that when you fall off the horse, eventually you'll get better at holding on.